“I felt isolated. I just wanted somewhere to belong.”
Evans, Ex-Gang Member Chicago USA.
Sadly, this is not the first instance where feeling an absence of belonging has been a stated factor of gang affiliation and groups of organised crime.
What perhaps is the most intriguing in these statements, is the dissonance of the individual. Typically, most people are aware that acting abusively and dangerously turns others away — but in the world of organised crime it’s what keeps the individual in.
Thus we can only conclude that in the mind of the perpetrator the sense of belonging to a group of organised crime, offsets the abusive and /or illicit events they are responsible for — no matter how devastating to the victim, or harmful the flow on effects.
However, we all belong to not one but many sub-groups of the human race — and this is something that is commonly and wildly overlooked.
As an immigrant living in New Zealand, I do not belong in the common sub-group of having a large amount of family members nearby, but I do belong to the sub-group who don’t. However, the sub-groups we are a part of extend far beyond the typical belief of just close friends and family.
We share the same sub-group of people who visit the same barista each day as we do, the sub-group of people who enjoy the same music, who are fascinated by the same visual arts, who enjoy similar forms of exercise. We are part of the same sub-groups of those who search prolifically on the internet for advice, the same sub-group of people on the street where we grew up, the same sub-group of people who catch the same train everyday.
The sub-groups and micro-communities of individuals we encounter are endless and we encounter them on a daily basis.
We by default, belong.
This would suggest the active feeling of belonging is more than being welcome as an individual. It is the active involvement of being generous, friendly and considerate and this is very the definition of kindness. When kindness is practised among relationships of general, unmitigated and partner-specific, we as the doer and receiver are brought multitudinous health benefits.
“This includes boosting Oxytocin, Dopamine and Serotonin — a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood,” (Waguih W. Ishak, MD)
Dr Ishak also states that biochemically, these effects only last 3–4 minutes, so for the health benefits to be experienced in full kindness must be repeated over the long term.
The importance of these health benefits play a significant role in decreasing the likelihood and severity of depression and anxiety, which when seem more manageable to the individual — helps to limit the capacity in which feelings of isolation can perpetuate.
More importantly, kindness is the doing of good acts which further motivates us to do only do more acts of goodness.
Thus with enough individuals executing unprecedented kind acts repeatedly, a domino effect of positivity is created from which an entire community benefits.
By doing what we can to create an environment of kindness, we have less space for feelings of isolation to foster — and scope for a happier community filled with joy.
I hope this has inspired you & I invite you to be kinder today.
